Who Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

As a mental health therapist and a mother, I’ve spent countless hours helping others figure out where they’re going in life by asking one question that I wish someone had asked me when I was younger.

It’s not, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

It’s, “Who do you want to be when you grow up?”

That question hits deeper. It’s not about the title, the career path, or how much money you make. It’s about your character. Your values. The way you treat people. The way you carry yourself when life gets hard — and trust me, it will.

The Therapist In Me Sees This Every Day

I’ve worked with students, families and adults from all walks of life. So many young people are pushed to figure out what job they want, what major they’ll choose, or what path they’ll take. But rarely do we stop to ask them who they’re becoming in the process.

As a therapist, I try to teach my clients how to handle failure with grace, how to find their voice in chaos, how to walk with purpose even when they feel uncertain. That’s not something any job title can give you. That’s character.

The Mother In Me Feels This Deeply

As a mom, I don’t just want my kids to chase titles. I want them to be kind. To be brave. To have integrity. To show compassion to others. I want them to grow up knowing that who they are on the inside matters more than the job they land or the salary they earn.

Because when the going gets tough, it’s not your career that pulls you through. It’s your heart, your resilience, your sense of who you are.

A Challenge For Students: Your Voice Matters

So, here’s a challenge for every student out there returning to school:

Write an essay answering the question:

"Who do I want to be when I grow up?"

Twenty-five students will be selected to receive a $10 frozen yogurt gift card — just in time to treat yourself before heading back to school.

More than that, you’ll be taking a powerful step in shaping your identity. This isn’t about perfection. It’s about reflection.

Final Thought

I still ask myself that question today. Even as a grown woman with degrees, titles and a busy life, I pause sometimes and ask, “Who do I want to be?” The answer changes and deepens over time. But asking it keeps me grounded. It keeps me human.

And I hope, by asking that question now, our children will grow up not just chasing success but becoming people they can be proud of.

Because the world needs more good people, not just more good resumés.

For more information about the essay contest, visit my Facebook page @Delegate LaToya Nkongolo or follow me on Instagram at @latoya_nkongolo.

Scan the QR code provided to complete the entry form and submit your essay. Good luck!