When Someone You Love Dies: What To Do Next

When someone we love dies, the world can feel as though it has stopped, yet somehow, the to-do list begins almost immediately.

There may be a funeral to plan, family members arriving from out of town, phone calls to make and countless decisions that suddenly fall to you. If you have been named the executor or personal representative of a loved one’s estate, or the successor trustee of a trust, you may also be facing a complicated legal and financial process while you are grieving.

It is a lot to carry.

The most important thing to remember is that you do not have to figure everything out immediately, and you do not have to do it alone. Take a breath. Take care of yourself and your family. Then, one step at a time, begin gathering the information you will need.

Start by Protecting What Your Loved One Left Behind

Make sure your loved one’s home, vehicle, personal belongings and important papers are secure. Look for important estate planning documents, particularly the original will and any trust documents. You may also find powers of attorney, advance medical directives, financial statements, insurance policies and tax returns.

If your loved one prepared a personal legacy letter, this can be a particularly meaningful time to locate it. These writings often contain family stories, personal values and messages that cannot be found in a legal document.

Gather Financial Information

Begin making a list of the assets your loved one owned, including bank and investment accounts, retirement accounts, life insurance, real estate, vehicles, business interests and valuable personal property. Recent statements, deeds, appraisals and other financial records can be especially helpful.

At the same time, gather information about mortgages, credit cards, loans, medical bills, utilities and other expenses. Do not assume that every bill should immediately be paid from your own funds. Keep the records and seek guidance about how debts should be handled through the estate or trust.

Take Care of Important Notifications

Obtain several certified copies of the death certificate. You will likely need them when working with banks, insurance companies, government agencies and other institutions.

Notify the Social Security Administration and address any Medicare matters. If your loved one was employed, contact their employer about a final paycheck, retirement benefits, life insurance or other benefits.

You should also notify applicable insurance companies, including life, automobile, and homeowners or renters insurance providers. Some policies may need to remain in place while the estate is being administered, so do not automatically cancel coverage.

Don't Forget the Digital Life

Today’s estates often include email accounts, social media, online photographs, cloud storage, digital subscriptions and online financial accounts. If your loved one left instructions for accessing these accounts, keep that information secure. Digital accounts may contain both important financial information and irreplaceable family memories.

Ask for Help When You Need It

Estate and trust administration can involve probate court, creditors, taxes, real estate, retirement accounts and beneficiary rights. Some decisions have important deadlines, and mistakes can sometimes result in unnecessary expenses or complications for the person responsible for administering the estate.

There is no prize for doing it all yourself.

If you are unsure what to do, consider speaking with an estate attorney early in the process. An attorney can help you understand your responsibilities, identify important deadlines, and determine which matters need immediate attention and which can wait. Depending on the circumstances, other professionals, including accountants, financial advisors and insurance professionals, may also be part of the process.

Most importantly, remember that you are navigating both a legal process and a personal loss. Give yourself time to grieve, ask questions when you need to, and take the process one step at a time.