When A Doctor Says “Get Your Affairs In Order,” What Does That Mean For Your Family?

Seventy-six percent of Americans do not have a will. It’s a surprising number, and in a close-knit community like ours, it often means families we know and care about are left navigating difficult decisions without a clear plan. I often meet families who assumed they had more time — until a diagnosis, an unexpected hospitalization, or even a routine doctor’s visit changed everything.

For many people, estate planning doesn’t happen until life forces the conversation. One of those moments is hearing a doctor say, “It’s time to get your affairs in order.”

One of the hardest parts of being an estate planning attorney is helping clients who have been given a limited amount of time by their doctors. These are deeply personal, emotional conversations — but they are also incredibly meaningful. In those moments, what matters most becomes clear: protecting your family, communicating and honoring your wishes, and creating as much peace and clarity as possible. The good news is that planning ahead can make all the difference.

Planning For Medical Decisions

If you’re ever unable to communicate your wishes, someone will need to step in on your behalf. A health care directive allows you to choose that person in advance — someone who understands your values and can make decisions with confidence. A living will provides guidance about the types of medical treatment you would or would not want in certain circumstances. This can be an incredible gift to your family, removing the burden of guessing during already emotional moments.

For individuals facing more serious health conditions, they may also want medical orders for life-sustaining treatment. These translate your wishes into clear instructions that medical providers are required to follow in an emergency.

Planning For Financial Decisions

A financial power of attorney ensures that someone you trust can step in to manage your finances if needed — paying bills, handling accounts, or managing property. Without it, families often face delays, court involvement, and unnecessary stress during an already difficult time.

Planning For Your Family’s Future

A last will and testament directs how your assets are distributed and allows you to name guardians for minor children. Without a will, those decisions are left to the court — without your input. Many families also choose to create a trust, which allows assets to pass more efficiently, privately, without court involvement, and provides greater control over how and when assets are distributed.

Trusts can also serve as a powerful tool during incapacity, allowing someone to step in seamlessly to manage assets without disruption. One detail many people don’t realize is that accounts with beneficiary designations — like retirement accounts and life insurance — pass outside of your will. Keeping those updated is just as important as having the documents themselves in place.

Just as importantly, having a clear plan in place can prevent misunderstandings and conflict among loved ones. We often see that when wishes are clearly documented and communicated, families are able to focus on supporting one another rather than navigating disagreements during an already difficult time.

The Details That Matter Most

Beyond the legal documents, the most impactful plans are the ones that create clarity. Make sure your loved ones know where to find important information. Keep beneficiary designations up to date. Consider your digital life — email, financial apps and online accounts — and how those should be handled. And most importantly, have conversations with your loved ones. Without a plan, families are often left making urgent decisions in the middle of a crisis. With a plan, those same decisions become clear, calm and guided.

We often see families feel a sense of relief, not burden, when these discussions happen ahead of time. In many cases, it brings families closer and provides a sense of calm that carries forward. Some parents even choose to leave a personal letter for future guardians, sharing their hopes, values and guidance. While not legally binding, it can be one of the most meaningful parts of a plan.

A Gift Of Peace Of Mind

Estate planning isn’t just about documents. It’s about making sure your family is protected, your wishes are honored, and your loved ones aren’t left carrying uncertainty during life’s hardest moments. In our community, where family and relationships matter deeply, having a plan in place is one of the most thoughtful things you can do.

If there’s one thing I would share from walking with families through crisis planning, it’s this: don’t wait for the emergency to have these conversations. Planning ahead allows you to make decisions thoughtfully rather than in a moment of urgency and gives your family a lasting gift of clarity and peace.