Lauren’s Law: Going To Court

Lauren Burke Meyer is a Severna Park native who was inspired to write Lauren's Law as a humorous play on the well-known adage Murphy’s Law: “anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”

The irony of this article’s title is not lost on my visit to the Annapolis District Court. No, I’m not a lawyer, and I’m not here to offer legal advice. I know where your mind is headed next: is Lauren in legal trouble? Also, no.

Two years ago, I was pulled over. I can admit that I’m not the best driver, however, I couldn’t think of why I was being pulled over. I quickly learned that my registration tags were two years out of date.

Oooops.

This is 100% out of character for me. I never pay bills late. When I moved, I set my mail to forward and continued to renew it, but I never received notification that my tags were expired. I received a ticket for $75, however, I believed I deserved the opportunity to be notified at least one time. So here I was, at court to fight for justice.

There wasn’t parking available near the court, so 36-week-pregnant me parked across the street. There was a possibility of getting a parking ticket while fighting another ticket. My memory instantly flashed to a moment in college when I parked at a parking meter, saw a free Red Bull car, and in all the excitement of getting a free Red Bull, forget to feed the meter. The $1.99 I saved on a free energy drink was not worth the $13 ticket I received that day.

Anyway, back to my day at court. Let’s just say nothing about my visit was pregnancy friendly. I was forced to pour out my water bottle – which was awful because being pregnant makes a woman so thirsty. Next, no food is allowed in the court room. Are you kidding me? The real kicker was that people couldn’t go to the bathroom while waiting for their cases to be called because they’d run the risk of missing it. At this point, I needed to pee every 30 minutes. The courtroom was packed, and it was going to be a long morning. No cellphones were allowed, and, not my usual self, I forgot to bring a book. I had a notebook, so I started writing a few baby shower gift thank yous. Take that, judicial system!

As I awaited my turn, I listened to all the cases. One stood out when a jerk realtor was asked by the judge to state his profession and he retorted, “I already told you my profession.” Gasps throughout the room. Some Judge Judy drama y’all. The judge was a middle-aged man who didn’t put up with that. He quickly and effortlessly put the jerk in his place. For the younger defendants (maybe this can be a legal article after all) fighting their speeding tickets, he would impart lessons like, “You think you’ll live forever, but you won’t. So, slow down already.” I found myself liking the judge and thought he was extremely fair.

After my day in court, everyone asked me: “Did you win?” That day, it wasn’t about winning or losing. It was about standing up for what I thought was unfair. The judge waived the ticket fee and then just made me pay for the court fees, saving me $50. I was disappointed at first to still pay something, but when I stepped back, I agreed that it was fair.

Some more legal irony found me soon after. My husband was called for jury duty five days before my due date. Pretty much the best circumstances for having your husband miss the birth of our daughter: no access to cellphone, limited breaks, and faraway parking. Here is the note I wrote for my husband to get out of it:

May 4, 2018

To whom it may concern,

I’ve been summoned for jury duty five days before my wife is expected to deliver our first child. I’m uncomfortable being in a courtroom without access to my phone in case she goes into labor or there’s another complication. I would like to request that my service be deferred to another time. I would be more than happy to fulfill my civic duty later and greatly appreciate you allowing me to be there for my wife during this important time that will only come once.

Sincerely,

Scott H. Meyer

Thankfully, we won that battle with the courts, and Scott got out of jury duty. I like to think they knew a crazy pregnant lady wouldn’t be above showing up to get her husband while in labor. They would be 100% right.