Matchmaking, Lauren’s Law Style

Despite my best efforts, I’m no Cupid. Valentine’s Day is even my favorite holiday. I was hooked from the homemade mailboxes in elementary school, followed by the cards and candy. Mainly the candy. And over the years, I’ve come to love the annual romantic comedy (rom com) release around my beloved holiday, too.

While we all love a good love story, here are some moments where it was a rom com without the romance. Moreover, it’s my failed attempts at matchmaking.

First up, we have one of the most romantic settings: a wedding. After chatting with one of the groom’s friends, I thought he’d be great for my single girlfriend. They seemed to hit it off on the dance floor, so after the wedding, I suggested we all hop a cab to downtown Annapolis’ local — and one of my personal favorite — watering holes. However, after one round of drinks at McGarvey’s, my girlfriend had “Irish dipped.” For anyone unfamiliar with the term, it means leaving without saying goodbye. After looking for her around the bar and in the bathroom, a short phone conversation enlightened me. The guy was not her type.

My next matchmaking victim is my gorgeous, 6-foot-3 sister. Poor thing, I love her so much, I’m not above introducing myself to tall strangers while waiting in line for the Best Buy Geek Squad. Another time while drinking at one of the Baltimore strolls (seriously, there are so many excuses to drink in the month of March in that city), I spotted a tall guy who I thought would be perfect for my sister. I quickly called my sister on repeat and demanded that she get to the bar Portside. She humored me and did. Nothing came to be of my attempted matchmaking. However, fate would have a funny way of bringing this gentleman back into our lives. Six years later, our brother married the man’s sister — a relationship that I had nothing to do with. However, we’ll always have the bridal party photos to remember a good height match that could have been.

My last example is evidence that I couldn’t identity a potential couple if it were under my nose. While at happy hour with three coworkers, the newly single girl was sharing what she’s looking for in her next relationship. I tried racking my brain to think of someone to set her up with, but I couldn’t think of anyone. A few weeks later, she began dating one of the other coworkers and only guy from the happy hour. He was a team member of mine, and I can’t believe I didn’t think to suggest that they get together.

Two things are for sure: the world is small and I’m a bad matchmaker. Anyhow, Valentine’s Day has and will always be my favorite holiday. Just don’t ask me to set you up.

Lauren Burke Meyer is a Severna Park native who was inspired to write Lauren’s Law as a humorous play on the well-known Murphy’s Law adage: “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”